Tag: Wisdom

Parenthood, like power, is a paradox wrapped in the human condition. Plato, in his wisdom, declared that the one most fit to hold power is the one who does not desire it. Such insight, profound in its simplicity, finds a quiet echo in the art of raising a child. For the heart that longs for completion through another, whether in leadership or parenthood, is a heart unwittingly tethered to illusion. Let us explore this delicate truth.

The Mirage of Fulfillment Through Another

The desire to become a parent often springs from the same well as our longing for love, success, or mastery—a thirst to mend the quiet fractures within us. We seek in the innocent gaze of a child the answer to our own incompleteness, imagining that their laughter might fill the hollow places. Yet, this longing, tender though it may seem, carries within it the seeds of discontent.

For what is this yearning but the echo of an inner void? What is this dream of parenthood but the hope that, through another, we might finally be whole? And herein lies the first great danger: to approach parenthood as a salve for the self is to misunderstand its nature entirely.

The Poison of Expectation

When a child is born into the arms of a parent seeking fulfillment, an unspoken contract is formed—one the child never consents to. They become a mirror, reflecting the hopes and unmet dreams of the parent. Expectations, invisible yet heavy, settle upon their small shoulders:

• To bring joy where there was sorrow.

• To succeed where the parent has faltered.

• To embody the values and desires the parent holds dear.

This silent burden grows with time, creating a chasm between the child and their own identity. Love, once thought to be unconditional, becomes tainted by subtle contingencies. And so, a dynamic emerges—not of nurturing, but of molding; not of liberation, but of quiet control.

The Mind Free of Desire

Yet, there is another path. It begins not with the child, but with the parent—more specifically, within the parent. To hold the role of a parent as one fit for it, the individual must first confront their own longing. They must stand before their inner emptiness and resist the urge to fill it with the fleeting balm of external attachments.

This is no small task. It requires courage, for the human heart resists stillness, preferring the noise of ambition and desire to the silence of self-reflection. But it is in this silence that the transformation begins. The parent who no longer seeks to complete themselves through their child is the parent who can truly see the child as they are: not a vessel, not a reflection, but a being unto themselves.

Power and Parenthood: A Sacred Paradox

Plato’s declaration—“He who does not desire power is fit to hold it”—unveils its deeper truth when applied to parenthood. The parent who does not seek fulfillment in the role, who does not hunger for the validation a child might bring, is the one most capable of wielding its responsibility with grace. This is the parent who nurtures without smothering, guides without dictating, and loves without condition.

To parent from such a place is to honor the sacred paradox: to hold power while relinquishing the desire for it. It is to step into the role not as an act of ego, but as an act of love—love unbound by the need to possess or control.

The Art of Wholeness

What, then, does it mean to prepare for parenthood in this way? It means turning inward before turning outward. It means asking the difficult questions:

• Can I find peace within myself, even in solitude?

• Can I witness my own emptiness without fleeing from it?

• Can I offer love without expecting it to heal me?

These are not questions to answer lightly, for they demand a reckoning with the deepest parts of the self. But the parent who can answer them with honesty, who has embraced their own wholeness, steps into parenthood not as a seeker, but as a giver.

A Closing Reflection

Parenthood is not a pursuit of completion, but a creation of space—a space where another life may unfold freely, untethered by the unfulfilled desires of its creator. To hold such space is the highest act of humility and the deepest expression of love. It is to embody the wisdom of Plato, not in the halls of power, but in the quiet, sacred art of raising a child.